Friday, February 24, 2012

Life of a Ninja

By Teal Rain

My name is Mallory. I am a ninja. At least in my mind I am.

I live with my mother and father in Upstate New York. I have a dog named Francisco Millington and a cat called Tuna. I named them both. I also have a hamster named Carrol, but I don't think she likes me much. They are my ninja companions. Except Carrol, she's rather sleep and poop. I am 16 years old, but I'm still in middle school because I can't pay attention in class, and, well, I may or may not repeatedly karate chop my math teacher in the face. I keep telling everyone he is an undercover ninja, because he has this fu manchu beard that I hate. I seriously want to chop it off. But personally, I think learning how to roundhouse kick a rival ninja master is much more important than learning about dead guys or multiplying stuff.

Today mom took me to see a doctor. Not like a normal doctor, but like a head doctor, she says. I swear, if he even touches my head, he's getting a fist to the jaw. I decided to wear my favorite black Batman shirt with a trench coat, and my ripped purple and blue zebra stripped jeans. I decided not to wear shoes, since shoes make noise and ninjas never make noise. At the last minute I decided to bring Carrol along with me. She bites my finger as I take her out of her cage. "Ouch! Jeez, Carrol, lighten up." I mutter, shoving her in my trench coat pocket.

When we get to the doctor's office, I slink stealthily inside as mom impatiently holds the door open. I get through the door, but I see a suspicious looking lady at the desk, so I make a mad dive for a large stuffed bear in the waiting room. I crouch behind it as mom signs in. I secretly observe the lady as she chats with mom. Her brown hair is in a braid. Only ninja females wear braids. "Very suspicious..." I mutter, stroking my own braid. Just then, mom asks for a pen. Not good. It's probably a laser pen. I hop up from behind the bear, and leap across the waiting room chairs, landing on top of the desk. I slap the pen out of the lady's hand as she shrieks in surprise. I jump off the desk as mom starts yelling at me. Suddenly, I feel Carrol spaz out in my jacket, and the next thing I know, she's jumping out of my pocket, and onto the floor, heading straight for the door, which was, of course, open as a very suspicious looking guy stepped in. "Carrol, no!" I cry as I zoom after her. I fling the door open as she scurries into the small parking lot. I use my ninja powers to jump and land right behind her, only making her go faster. Still running, I try to grab her. I trip and fall on my face. I let out a keening wail, even though it doesn't hurt that bad. I see mom starting towards me, so I get up, muttering about bratty hamsters. "Carrol, how dare you!" I holler as leap at her. Finally, I catch her. She bites me. I shove her back in my pocket. Mom is furious as she drives me back home. Oh well, thats the life of a ninja, I think to my self.

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