21 Ways to Annoy Someone

By Teal Rain

1. Scream like a bird of prey every time someone says your name.
2. Slink around like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Scream "My Precious!" while stroking a ring.
3. Carry around a stuffed animal in public places. Argue loudly with it.
4. Slide up close to a parent. Sniff their arm. Don't stop until they get mad. Run away screaming "Cruel world!"
5. Lay down on the ground and scream. Say your sibling pushed you.
6. In the middle of the night sneak into your sibling's room. Move your face an inch away from them, breath loudly.
7. Teepee your parent's room. Blame the cat.
8. Walk into your sibling's room while they're in there. Yell, "Get out of my room!"
9. Sing your parent's favorite song very badly in public.
10. Pretend to trip, wail loudly.
11. Start hip-thrusting every time someone says your name.
12. Give everyone a stripper name.
13. Stare at a trashcan. Start laughing wildly.
14. Turn on the light switch. Then off. On, off. Say, "Ohhh...now I get it!"
15. Burst into your sibling's room screaming about socks. Run out screaming about ponies. Repeat.
16. Play with your food. Name it, converse with it. Make it die a terrible death. Start crying about how it had a family.
17. Put your mother's underwear over your head like a mask. Pretend to be Batman.
18. Pretend to use the Force on your cat.
19. Slink around. When someone looks at you, freeze. Mutter, "If I don't move, they won't see me."
20. Pretend to be a spy and annoy your sibling.
21. Make a piece of chocolate resemble cat poop. Put it on your sibling's pillow. Blame the cat.